When a teenager refuses to go to school, your first response as a parent or caregiver might be to just force them and call it a day. But there are some very real issues that could be at the root of school refusal, including anxiety, depression, or social struggles. A better approach, then, is to figure out what’s going on and take direct steps to resolve it – a process that often includes open discussions, collaboration with school officials, and therapy or residential treatment.

Below, we’re sharing some of our top tips for when a teen refuses to go to school, plus the clear signs you should be taking school refusal seriously. 

Figuring Out Why a Teenager Won’t Go to School

For a teenager, school refusal can have all sorts of causes – and it might not be easy to pinpoint what they are. By being aware of the common reasons behind school refusal, you can hopefully identify a major issue at an early stage, helping your teen get back on track and ensuring they don’t fall too far behind.

Common reasons why a teenager won’t go to school include:

• Anxiety or depression – Anywhere from 2-5% of children and teens experience anxiety-related school refusal or other types of emotional distress that make it difficult to maintain attendance. 
• Social struggles – A teen may be getting bullied at school or struggling to make or keep friends. 
• Academic pressure – Including feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork or other school-related expectations.
• Family issues – Problems at home like divorce, loss, or instability can decrease motivation for school engagement. 
• Learning disorders – An undiagnosed learning disorder such as auditory processing disorder or ADHD could be to blame for teen school refusal. 

Chronic absenteeism, defined as missing 10% or more of the school year, nearly doubled between 2018 and 2023, jumping from 15% to 26% among school-age kids in America. That’s a huge increase, and a concerning trend considering the essential role school plays in not just academic development but social, mental, and emotional development as well. 

How to Know If a Teen Refuses to Go to School or Just Wants to Skip

There’s a difference between normal reluctance to school and chronic school refusal/avoidance. 

• Reluctance is defined by occasional skipping of class and/or temporary resistance to attending. 
• Refusal is a persistent pattern of intense anxiety and distress over having to go to school.

While skipping school is always a concern, chronic avoidance suggests an underlying mental health issue tied to either an ongoing event or a serious trauma. Some signs that a teen’s school refusal is more than just skipping include:

• Frequent physical complaints
• Panic attacks of extreme anxiety before school
• Refusal to do homework or talk about school
• Loss of interest in social activities
• Sleep issues
• Anger or defiance when school is mentioned

Teens will be teens, but chronic school refusal isn’t usually part of the equation unless something bigger is going on. Trust your gut, and don’t feel like you’re overreacting by asking questions or voicing your concerns. 

Strategies for School Refusal: Teenager-Proofed Ways to Move Forward

Chronic absenteeism in high school is linked to higher rates of suspension and dropping out and sets teens back in terms of social and emotional development. So if your teen refuses to go to school, it’s your job as a parent or caregiver to figure out what’s happening – and how to fix it. Here are three places to start. 

1. Communicate Openly

Be the one to start the conversation about your teen’s school refusal, stay calm and supportive, and avoid the power struggles that can take these discussions off track. Listen and show understanding as much as possible, and work together with your teen to determine the potential root cause of the situation. 

2. Set Small, Achievable Goals

All-or-nothing thinking won’t get you far. Instead, start with more practical goals like partial attendance or a more structured morning routine, then be sure to celebrate even the smallest of wins. School refusal is a big hill to climb, and every step in the right direction is worthy of praise. 

3. Consult with Professionals

Consider seeking professional support, especially if a co-occurring condition like depression, anxiety, or substance use is present. Many teens benefit from therapy when it comes to school avoidance, and structured residential treatment (with on-site academics) is available in severe cases. You should also collaborate with school staff to create a support plan and provide your teen with the tools they need, or consider alternate options like homeschooling or online classes. If your teenager refuses to go to school, we may be able to help. Explore The Ridge RTC website for information and resources on teen school refusal and the importance of addressing mental health concerns early, and contact us for a consultation regarding Ridge teen residential treatment programs.