Are you struggling with an out of control teen? Parenting a teenager isn’t for the faint of heart, but extreme defiance or other forms of acting out can make things even more complicated. To address the problem, you need to understand the root cause of out-of-control behaviors in teens, as well as effective ways to meet the emotional demands of an out-of-control teenager while protecting your own. 

Learn more about what to do if your teenager is out of control below, and get in touch for information on residential programs for troubled teens. 

My Teenager is Out of Control: Why?

“My teenager is out of control, and I don’t know why” is something we hear from parents and caregivers quite often. 

Many feel overwhelmed and confused when their teen becomes defiant, reckless, or otherwise unmanageable, so it’s no surprise that they want to know what’s at the root of these problem behaviors. 

Every teenager is different, but the most common reasons that teens act out include:

• Emotional distress
• Mental health struggles
• Substance use
• Peer influence
• Unhealthy family dynamics

Biology can also be at least partially to blame for an out-of-control teenager. Puberty, hormonal changes, and a still-developing brain make self-awareness and impulse control difficult for teens, resulting in actions and decisions that adults might not understand or be able to handle without support. 

Warning Signs of an Out of Control Teenager

It’s estimated that roughly 6% of adolescents aged 12-17 struggle with behavior and conduct issues. These present differently in different younger children, but there are some clear-cut signs that you’re dealing with a teen who’s out of control.

• Extreme defiance: Repeatedly breaking the rules, lying, or refusing to listen. 
• Aggressive or violent behavior: Getting into physical fights, destroying property, or having physical outbursts. 
• Substance use: Abuse of alcohol, drugs, or vaping as a coping mechanism. 
• Legal issues: Shoplifting, vandalism, or trouble with the law. 
• Academic decline: Skipping school, failing classes, or total disinterest in learning. 
• Risky conduct: Sneaking out, reckless driving, or maintaining unsafe relationships. 
• Social withdrawal: Isolating from family, losing friends, or excessive time online in lieu of in-person engagement. 

Out-of-control behaviors do not always mean your teen has a mental illness, but they are signs you should take action. Plus, with support, time, and, if necessary, proper treatment, many out-of-control adolescents go on to become healthy and well-regulated adults. 

What to Do If Your Teenager is Out of Control: 4 Action Steps

Parents and other caregivers do have options when it comes to regaining control and helping their teen. Here are four things to consider as you make an action plan and decide what happens next. 

1. Stay Calm and Communicate

Create a safe space for honest conversations and avoid the emotional reactions that can derail a productive talk. Speaking openly about your teen’s struggles can give you key insight into the mental health struggles, trauma, or stress driving their behaviors. It also gives you a chance to set clear expectations so your teen knows exactly what’s expected of them and why. 

2. Limit Access to Harmful Influences

Keep an eye on online interactions and screen time, and set boundaries around friends or environments that encourage reckless behaviors. A teenager who’s acting out may fight against restrictions, but it’s important that you hold the line and reduce at least some of the danger associated with defiance and other unpredictable behavior. 

3. Encourage Healthy Outlets

Sports, therapy, creative hobbies, and volunteer work aren’t just distractions – they can actually provide an outlet for processing emotions in a healthier way. Another healthy outlet for teenagers exhibiting these behaviors is family counseling, which can help strengthen family relations and improve communication at such a tumultuous time. 

4. Seek Professional Support

Therapy, support groups, and/or parenting couches are some of the most common places that parents turn when their teen is out of control. Avoid power struggles by giving your teen input on their treatment plan and focusing on solutions instead of punishment. If behaviors continue to escalate, consider a structured treatment program such as 24/7 support at a teen residential treatment center. 

Get Help for an Out of Control Teen

If you are a parent dealing with an out of control child, know that you are not alone. The Ridge RTC provides supportive residential treatment programs for teens ages 12-18 struggling with a wide range of mental health concerns, including out of control conduct.  We’re also proud to be a trusted resource for professional intervention and family healing, and can provide your family with support for navigating this tricky stage of life. Contact us online or at (866) 619-0078 to discuss individual concerns and learn more about residential treatment as a solution for teen problem behaviors.